Spider attack!
This started while in Target. There was a spider. It was remote controlled. It was $16. It was for kids. It had glowing red eyes. It was perfect. In my office, we have several people that are deathly afraid of anything that doesn't walk on 2 legs. One of whom is a feisty, body-building lady who intimidates all kinds of people, usually by sheer force of will. :) After seeing this delightful little toy, I knew what I had to do.
First, we needed a distraction. Another co-worker lured her into his office to discuss an issue. With spidey hiding covertly behind a notebook, I snuck, ninja-style, into her office and placed him strategically in her lunch box. Once I passed by his office again, he wrapped things up and then followed her back to her office to discuss something else (we had to have someone in prime view of the fireworks!). I went into the office next door and started using the remote to make out little fuzzy friend do his little dance of happiness. I could hear mumbled talking, then a 'what's that noise?' followed by a yelp, screaming and then the thunder of a panicked woman who (so the story goes) actually hit the ceiling before gaining traction and hightailing it out of the office. I saw her run by the office I was in in a blur of legs and arms, sounding much like a fire truck aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! My coworker and I, doubled over in laughter, tears streaming from our eyes stumbled out into the hallway. That, is when she turned. Seeing our laughter was like a red cape to a pissed off bull. She charged. Luckly, her muscles are just for show and we were laughing so hard that her blows were ineffective. Then, she couldn't help it anymore and started laughing too. Once she regained her composure, the orders were clear and direct 'Get that motha-@#%#in-piece-of-s@#$-out-of-my godd@%#-office-right-this-second-or-I-will-stab-you!' I went in, retrieved spidey and held it up to show her. Things were going ok until my coworker hit the remote and sent her squealing away again! Oh, too much fun!
Spidey strikes again!
Now, after the riviting success of our first deployment, I figured that spidey's usefulness was about up. I figured that everyone in the office had heard it so there's no way that he'd be able to freak anyone else out. I was wrong. Very wrong. Not long after his first successful mission, he was deployed on another. This time on another coworker's coffee mug. The mug was under a hutch, so it was relatively dark. She walked it and said 'Who put a fake spider on my mug?'. Then, it moved. If she'd have had claws, she would have climbed the walls!
And again!
The first co-worker demanded that she be involved in a future deployment (seemed a reasonable request, since we didn't want to get stabbed...). She picked the target and I deployed him under some papers. He worked perfectly. She lept up from her desk, almost took out her office mate and was screaming from a back corner of her office refusing to come out until someone got the spider. Since she would have to get closer to him to get out of the office, there was nowhere she could run! Braahahahahaha.
And again!
This one was more of a spur of the moment deployment. Sometimes, the situation is just too good to resist. A coworker came in from lunch and dropped her purse outside of my office as she took some things into another office. I'm not sure why she left her purse there. It didn't seem like the best idea in general, but especially not with a spider on the loose! I popped out, quickly put him in, covered partially with a paper. She walked by a few seconds later and I had the remote all ready. I didn't even get a chance! She saw the leg, and like an Olympic hammer-throw champion flung her purse halfway down the hall with an AAAAAAHHHHHH!!
The thing that makes the last one more amusing was that after the other deployments, she'd played with spidey. She knew it was fake, but he still got her in the end!
Since the initial round, he's come out a couple of times, bringing joy and laughter each and every time.
First, we needed a distraction. Another co-worker lured her into his office to discuss an issue. With spidey hiding covertly behind a notebook, I snuck, ninja-style, into her office and placed him strategically in her lunch box. Once I passed by his office again, he wrapped things up and then followed her back to her office to discuss something else (we had to have someone in prime view of the fireworks!). I went into the office next door and started using the remote to make out little fuzzy friend do his little dance of happiness. I could hear mumbled talking, then a 'what's that noise?' followed by a yelp, screaming and then the thunder of a panicked woman who (so the story goes) actually hit the ceiling before gaining traction and hightailing it out of the office. I saw her run by the office I was in in a blur of legs and arms, sounding much like a fire truck aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! My coworker and I, doubled over in laughter, tears streaming from our eyes stumbled out into the hallway. That, is when she turned. Seeing our laughter was like a red cape to a pissed off bull. She charged. Luckly, her muscles are just for show and we were laughing so hard that her blows were ineffective. Then, she couldn't help it anymore and started laughing too. Once she regained her composure, the orders were clear and direct 'Get that motha-@#%#in-piece-of-s@#$-out-of-my godd@%#-office-right-this-second-or-I-will-stab-you!' I went in, retrieved spidey and held it up to show her. Things were going ok until my coworker hit the remote and sent her squealing away again! Oh, too much fun!
Spidey strikes again!
Now, after the riviting success of our first deployment, I figured that spidey's usefulness was about up. I figured that everyone in the office had heard it so there's no way that he'd be able to freak anyone else out. I was wrong. Very wrong. Not long after his first successful mission, he was deployed on another. This time on another coworker's coffee mug. The mug was under a hutch, so it was relatively dark. She walked it and said 'Who put a fake spider on my mug?'. Then, it moved. If she'd have had claws, she would have climbed the walls!
And again!
The first co-worker demanded that she be involved in a future deployment (seemed a reasonable request, since we didn't want to get stabbed...). She picked the target and I deployed him under some papers. He worked perfectly. She lept up from her desk, almost took out her office mate and was screaming from a back corner of her office refusing to come out until someone got the spider. Since she would have to get closer to him to get out of the office, there was nowhere she could run! Braahahahahaha.
And again!
This one was more of a spur of the moment deployment. Sometimes, the situation is just too good to resist. A coworker came in from lunch and dropped her purse outside of my office as she took some things into another office. I'm not sure why she left her purse there. It didn't seem like the best idea in general, but especially not with a spider on the loose! I popped out, quickly put him in, covered partially with a paper. She walked by a few seconds later and I had the remote all ready. I didn't even get a chance! She saw the leg, and like an Olympic hammer-throw champion flung her purse halfway down the hall with an AAAAAAHHHHHH!!
The thing that makes the last one more amusing was that after the other deployments, she'd played with spidey. She knew it was fake, but he still got her in the end!
Since the initial round, he's come out a couple of times, bringing joy and laughter each and every time.
posted by clowridr at
7:20 AM
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